☆ハナ☆

☆ハナです。☆


*Image by jermilex on deviantART.

Have you ever felt lonely
Even when you're not alone?

Have you ever felt your chest hurt
And not know what it's hurting for?

Have you ever seen sad memories
And felt like crying even if things were solved?

Have you ever seen the rain
And thought about angels who cry for us?

I have, and I am...
I have my friends,
I have my family,
I have my life...
But I'm so different from them
And I feel so bad...
It's not that I want to be alike,
Or be just another 'normal person'...

I just want to have one person
Someone who can truly understand me...

Who can know when I'm hurting,
Or when I'm crying...

Once, at school, I felt an urge to cry, and a terrible sadness... I didn't even remember where I was at that moment, so I let tears fall.
I cried during three classes, and through the 'lunch break', which is actually for breakfast...
My best friend, who sat beside me, didn't notice until the moment I lifted my head because the teacher called me.

It's not that I really wanted her to see me sad, for I myself didn't know what I was crying for.
I wanted someone, anyone, to see throught me... to see that I'm not only the "girl who speaks english". The one who got a high or low grade. The one that stands up when someone fights her, instead of hiding... I want one person, even if only one, to see that I'm not super strong, that I'm not unbreakable, that I also can cry and be sad.

I just... I want someone to be here for me...
I want... understanding...

☆おやすみ。☆